The 5 Most Powerful Mindset Shifts to Make if You Want to Feel at Home in your Postpartum Body
Postpartum can be a really strange time. Your body has gone through so many changes, hormones are raging, you’re full of immense love for this tiny human who reciprocates by crying and not sleeping at all, and you may be feeling like this body- the body that grew this person- is unrecognizable.
Maybe you embraced the changes pregnancy brought with ease, but now you feel this weird disconnect with how your body looks and functions.
Maybe you never really embraced the changes pregnancy brought and you’re just wanting to get your old body back.
Maybe you are blindsided by how pregnancy and birth affected your body, and are now dealing with symptoms you’re concerned about and never expected.
There are two resounding messages out there about your postpartum body:
Bounce back after baby
Embrace and love your postpartum body as it is
It seems like there’s no middle ground here. Either you’re expected to look like the old you in no time after you push out a baby, OR you’re told your body is perfect just the way it is and you need to love it. Honestly, I used to preach the second.
Then I realized that while the intention of the message was to help, what I was actually doing was disregarding the discomfort people had in their own bodies postpartum. Telling someone to love a body that is unfamiliar and uncomfortable is like the old give a man a fish saying. Sure, I can tell you to love your body all day- but it doesn’t do any damn good if I don’t acknowledge the discomfort you have and help you navigate that part of this journey.
Because at some point we ALL feel uncomfortable in our postpartum bodies. They are strange. They’re bigger, squishier, leakier, achier, and full of surprises sometimes.
So in this article I’m going to give you 5 of the most powerful mindset shifts to make to feel at home in your postpartum body as it is now.
Acknowledge the discomfort
Being postpartum is uncomfortable. Period. I felt it during both postpartum periods and as much as I told myself to love my body, I still felt that sting of discomfort. I want to give you permission to LEAN IN to that discomfort. Acknowledge it. Ask yourself the hard questions and answer them honestly. Like:
What happens if your body stays larger and squishier? What then?
What can you do to feel less discomfort in this body? If it involves starving yourself or working out every day, how can you change that narrative?
What messages are you taking in from social media? TV? Articles you read? How is that changing your perspective of your body? Change the messages you’re taking in.
What is behind the discomfort? So often we think the discomfort is solely about how our bodies look when it really isn’t. There’s something deeper.
It is okay to feel uncomfortable in your body. I don;t want to dismiss it by telling you to love your body. I want you to get to the bottom of the why, ask yourself these questions, and find more comfort in where you are now.
Your worth is not determined by your pre-baby clothes
I know you’re staring at your pre-baby clothes waiting to try them on. Maybe you did try them on and they fit but just don’t feel comfortable, which bums you out. Maybe you tried them on and they are so far from fitting that you’re lost in a sea of disappointment. Wherever you are, I want you to wear clothes that make you feel good. Don’t shimmy into your pre-baby jeans and suck in your belly all day to prove something to yourself. Put the pre-baby clothes somewhere else and go buy a few pieces of clothing that make you feel good if you have to. If you don’t have the resources to do that, find one or two outfits in your closet and put them on repeat. This is key to feeling at home in your postpartum body, dress it in a way that feels good- not that leaves you uncomfortable and disappointed in your body.
Recognize that your body is doing A LOT right now
Your body is healing from growing and birthing an entire human. You may be breast-feeding your baby, in which case you’re making food for your baby. If you aren’t breast-feeding, you’re still getting up at all hours of the night and making food for your baby. Your hormones are out of whack, you aren’t getting solid sleep, your stress levels are likely higher than normal, and you are still recovering. YES- even after that 3 month mark. Your body and hormones will still be changing up to 2 years postpartum. Your body is doing A LOT. And let me tell you, it is an evolutionary advantage for it to be larger and squishier post-baby. That’s how we were made. Just recognize how much you and your body are doing right now.
Don’t compare you to other people
The comparison trap is really hard in the postpartum period. There’s your neighbor who popped out a baby and looks like she was never even pregnant to begin with, there’s Beyonce who birthed TWINS and was on the cover of a magazine looking like herself like 5 seconds later, and exactly one billion ads on Facebook and Google targeting you to buy something to “get your body back after baby.” There’s so much noise out there. It can be really hard to embrace your body, to feel comfortable in your body, when there’s so much out there telling and showing you what “normal” should be. Tune out the noise. When you feel the comparison coming on tell yourself “this is my body, not hers. I can’t compare my body to hers because we are two different people in two different bodies.” Then realize that whoever you’re comparing yourself to is probably struggling with those messages as well, she isn’t exempt from them.
Focus on strength and function
Shift your focus to strength and function during your workouts and every day life. I’m gonna let you in on a little secret- a lot of what we try to control in our postpartum bodies we actually don’t have much control over. So dieting hard and attending boot camp classes may not be serving you well mentally or physically and they may not even provide the results you want. Shifting your focus to how your body functions and feels over how it looks is a super powerful tool you can use to feel more at home in your body. This means ditching the intense workouts (unless you really love those and want to get back into them safely) and focusing on strength training. It means focusing on your core and pelvic floor health and recovery to manage any symptoms you may be experiencing. It means shifting the focus from what your body is lacking to what it is gaining. This one can be so powerful, my friend.
Postpartum bodies can be so strange. They can feel foreign and weird, and many people feel very uncomfortable in their bodies postpartum. Telling someone to “love their body” is often unhelpful and dismisses the actual discomfort they may be feeling. Your discomfort is valid, but I want you to have the tools at your disposal to deal with some of this discomfort and feel more at home in your postpartum body NOW.
These are my 5 most powerful mindset shifts to do just that, and I hope they leave you feeling better in your body as it is right now. For more on healing your pelvic floor and strengthening your core post-baby, grab my free resource here.