Why You Should Give Yourself a Damn Break
This summer was a doozie. We bought our first house and left our home of 4+ years, the first one Avery remembers. In the middle of the move I took off to Philly for the weekend to learn from some of the best people around. Family vacations sprinkled in and as soon as we knew it, summer was over. Avery took the big kid leap to kindergarten and Eli started preschool. But I have to admit, this summer was spent feeling guilty about the things I wasn’t doing, not taking into account the things I already had on my plate… which were pretty huge life events.
One day, as I was working with one of my early morning clients, I said:
“I have barely worked out this week and I haven’t written a blog in such a long time. I need to get it together!”
She looked at me like I grew two freaking heads…
“Madison, you JUST moved. You’re doing enough right now.”
I have to admit, this isn’t the first time someone has said something like that to me…
I’m one of those procrastinating overachiever types. I want to do all the things, I want to do them now, and if I can’t do it all NOW I'll put it off then feel super guilty about the fact that I didn't get it done when I had the motivation to do it right then....
That’s a bit Veruca Salt-ish, isn’t it?
I talk to a lot of moms who operate in the same headspace. They feel guilty and lazy because they can’t find time to work out. They feel stressed to the max trying to fit everything in during the day then feel guilty because of the few things that didn't get done. They feel overwhelmed because there just isn’t enough time to do all the things plus drink the water, get the exercise, answer texts and emails, be a good wife, do the PTA thing, and not feel like an insane person.
And then there you are, that insane person who is screaming “I just CAN’T” in your head… who am I kidding, out loud.
I say “It’s ok, you are doing enough right now” all. the. time. I tell people it is OK to let things go and to take a break and to not be so hard on themselves. I truly believe every single one of those words.
But it’s also really hard to practice what you preach, am I right?
I felt guilty WAY TOO MUCH this summer. I felt like I wasn’t giving my kids enough attention, I wasn’t doing enough around the house, I wasn’t writing enough (ok, fine, at all), I wasn’t giving enough time and energy to my clients, I wasn’t doing social media right or enough or something.
When it comes down to it, guilt is a whole hell of a lot more exhausting than adding in the 10 minute workout or arguing with your 5-year-old about a snack. It takes a lot more out of you mentally to think about all the things you should be doing rather than just being OK with the things you have accomplished, no matter how big or small. If you actually let go of “should be” and focus on the right now wins, it turns out life becomes just a little bit simpler a lot more enjoyable.
This is why you should give yourself a damn break. Focus on just one small win every day, one thing you’ve done amazingly awesome. Don’t think about the things you haven’t done, that you should be doing.
I hope this gives you a little permission to leave the dishes in the sink when you're too damn exhausted to function or let your kids watch TV for 10 minutes so you can fit in just a few exercises because you're achy. I hope you know you're already supermom, you don't have to prove it day in and day out. I hope this lets you ease up on yourself just a little bit, because...
You are doing enough. You are strong. You are badass.
You Got This.
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Bulletproof Basics, my 8-week program to help you feel strong and confident in your core, floor, and everyday life, is coming back for purchase in a few weeks. Can’t wait? Check out my online coaching group, Strong Like a Mom, where I help moms and moms-to-be find their strength and feel a little more badass in their body throughout pregnancy and postpartum